Enculturation--Cautious or Paranoid?

Today was a beautiful sunny fall day. I want to cherish each of these days that I have while on sabbatical. So after spending the morning on the computer I decided to go for a nice long walk at Charles Lindberg State Park. This was not the first time I had been to the park, but it was the first time I had been there by myself in years. In fact, I almost didn't go because I knew I would be alone. It saddens me that this is part of my reality.

Before I left the house I slipped my cell phone into my coat pocket. I thought about taking my mace but decided not to. But even as I was walking I caught myself turning my head and looking back over my shoulder to make sure no one was sneaking up on me. After about the 5th time of doing so, I started to question why I was so fearful that something was going to happen to me. There must have been something in my enculturation that made me this way.

Was it something my parents said to me about not going out alone? Was it the few scary movies I watched? If I was a male, would I have the same adrenaline reaction? But maybe it is because of the real news reports about real crimes happening in our state and around the country. These news reports seem to be all too frequent.

So whatever the factors were that contributed to my enculturation, I guess the question really then becomes does my enculturation lead to a sense of paranoia or am I just being realistically cautious?

W: 4 miles 1 hr 2 min

POSTE NOTE: OK I just posted this blog entry and the top news story tonight? Four adult men who beat and burned a mentally challenged male over the course of two days! They took him out to a remote wooded area both nights! Earlier this summer a woman with cancer was beaten nearly to death! It makes me sick and sad and angry. So I changed the picture to one of Justin which I took from KSTP online newssite. To you Justin, and to the woman with cancer who was too scared to give her name--I wish you peace and all the best this world has to offer you as you've certainly seen some of its worst.

Celebrate

Well I finally went for a run today. I had been over a week since my last run (see "Fall Dinners Lutheran Style in NW MN" blog for why I had to run that day). It seemed that once the third day passed, I just felt more and more guilty about it--to the point where I just plain didn't go. I thought about going earlier, but it was just to easy to skip it since it had already been so long. Then of course I would just feel more guilty about it.

But today was different. It may have taken me 6 hours to actually get my butt out the door, but I did it. However, even when I was running I still felt guilty for not running earlier. I kept thinking about whether or not my run was harder for waiting over a week. I thought about the fact that my route "up north" is shorter than my route down here and started feeling guilty about not mapping a longer route up there. But about a mile into my run I came upon this yard that had beautiful flowers still growing for this late in the fall and right in front of them was a sign that simply said "celebrate". One word but it made a difference in my run.

I decided to stop the guilt--afterall, I was out there. I was running. And I should celebrate the fact I was back doing so. It's kind of like what the researchers say happens to some people when they diet. Often times people will "fall off the wagon" and consume more calories than they intend. But psychologically many then use that as an excuse to repeat the same behavior. "Well I already blew my diet so I might as well have this piece of cake". When what the trainers are saying you should do is just jump right back into your intended plan.

My friend who taught and coached golf used to tell me "don't follow a bad shot with a stupid shot" because I had trouble taking each shot as the current shot. I was too tied up on the previous shot--"how'd I end up in the woods--that was a horrible shot!" Inevitably I'd still be tied to the emotions of the last shot and follow it up with another bad shot thereby making it the stupid shot since I didn't let go of the bad shot.

So today I ran and I celebrated the fact that I was running today. And you know what happened? Not only did I have a "good run" I shaved some time off. It was more productive than I'm sure it would have been if I would have stayed in my guilt-mode. So kudos to me today and the reality I found on my run!

R: 3.6 miles 31 min 30 sec

It's about time

I can't believe it's mid-October already. Time is flying by. It seems I turn on my computer in the morning and the next thing I know it's mid-afternoon. It seems like I just turn a new page on the calendar and in no time I'm having to do it again. Some people say "time flies when you're having fun" and others say "the older you get the faster time goes". Now I know that time really does not go any faster nor does it go any slower depending on your behavior or your age. But it sure can seem like it does.

Time is a funny concept. In Western culture time is viewed as a commodity--something that can be "wasted", "gained", or "spent". It is a linear system. We are dependent on schedules and appointments. Although we may value multi-tasking, we allot "chunks" of our time for accomplishing specific tasks. Other cultures view time more wholistically. While they may be attending to one task, time is always trumped by the social relationship at hand. In these cultures you may not even have a pre-determined event planned to the second. A visit is over when the visit is over, not when an appointment tells you it should be over.

From another perspective, cultures can have different orientations to time. They could be past oriented (value rituals and traditions) present orientated (carpe diem) or future oriented (working now for something bigger to come later such as that which is fundamental to most Christian belief systems).

Even within cultures we have time habbits. Some people arrive at any event early. Some people are routinely late. And then there are those that are right on time. We even polarize time--are you "an early bird" or "a night owl?" BTW: I'm not a morning person and if these posts showed the actual time (date is right, but somehow not my posting time) you'd see that most of these blog entries are coming real late at night. As I'm typing it is currently 11:57 pm.

Maybe this is part of the reason we react differently to having to "setting the time" and actually getting up. Some people set their clocks ahead, some folks have clocks that are left not running or with the wrong time. And then there are those that make sure all the clocks are set to the exact time. Same holds true for how one wakes up. Some people wake up naturally when their bodies tell them they should get up. Some people have to set an alarm. There are those who set their alarm to go off at the precise time they intend to get up. While others purposely will set their alarm ahead of when they really need to be awake (usually mathmatically figured to coincide with the length of snooze button function).

So since I'm on sabbatical and time seems to be slipping away I did not set my alarm. Instead I just woke up when my body decided it should wake. I went about my day not being tied to the time although I sometimes did peer at the clock. But most importantly I "took the time" to enjoy the nice fall day by walking 3.5 miles at Charles Lindberg State Park. I guess my culture would say, that was "time well spent".

They're all gourdgeous!

Diane's sister brought us some of her home-grown gourds Sunday. I guess I have never really paid attention to gourds before but my first thought was "they're goofy looking". Then I started noticing how each one was so unique and in it's own way "cool". I guess I could even call them kinda "gourdgeous". But seriously...Warning! Warning! Warning!...Deep moment approaching...I realized that we're all kind of like gourds. We come in different shapes and sizes. Our coloring isn't necessarily all the same. We have nicks and bruises caused by how we grew in our enviroment. Some have worts and some have creases. Some are smooth and some are rough. But all are unique. All deserve to be seen as valuable. And when you put this diverse group together it creates something even more attractive. Humm...we're even more like gourds than I first thought. I know, I know...I'm off my gourd!

The thing is...I like homemade pumpkin pie

The thing is...I crave different things at different times of the year. Since this is fall the thing I'm craving now is homemade pumpkin pie. It's not like it is very difficult to make. You can get what you need at almost any grocery store. It's basically mashed pumpkin pie from a can, some evaporated milk from a can, eggs from a carton and a few things from your cupboard that you probably have on hand.

Maybe it was the cool cloudy day or maybe it was the 3 hour drive along fall-colored highways or maybe it was the site of my friends Halloween decorated house, whatever sparked it the pie craving came and hit me hard. So Saturday I decided to do something about it. I decided to make that pie.

I had the house to myself as my friends had things already scheduled they had to do. So I went to the grocery store and picked up the things I needed. Twelve dollars and 4 hours later (the thing had to cool 2 before we could eat it) I had myself some homemade pumpkin pie. Sure I could have bought one for alot less, but the thing is...I like homemade pumpkin pie.



B: 0 miles R: 0 miles o min 0 sec exercising (Exercise? what's that? I'd rather eat pumpkin pie)
thing exercise

Pride at Parent's Night

I'm not a parent, but Diane is and on Friday night we went to watch her son, the senior play in his last home football game. The team has had its struggles all year and unfortunately wasn't able to get very many wins. OK going into Friday's game they were actually 0-5 (that's no wins for those of you who might not know). But Kyle was out on the field every play giving it his all and trying to keep his teammates up and ready for each play. He didn't give in even when the score was lopsided. Granted he was a team captain and that's part of their responsibilities, but I think his behavior would have been the same even if he wasn't. After last week's game where they lost once again, he came up to us directly from the post-game coach's talk and after he thanked us for coming to the game he turned to his mom and said "I'm sorry we can't win one for you." (About melted my heart--good kid!) Well, this last game was parent's night and guess what? They won one. Kyle had two touchdowns and a point after to go along with his numerous offensive yards and defensive tackles. Oh and did I mention he's also the punter? So OK, I'm not a parent, but he still makes me feel proud. And that's my reality for this Friday!

Pave Paradise to Put Up a Parking Lot

My reality started this morning at 7:15 am as the heavy equipment started their work on the land across the street from my house. Unfortunately this was not the first time I had been awakened by the thump of the dump trucks and the beep beep beep of the backhoe. I don't know if those are even the right terms for the machinery but I do know they are big, they are loud, and they start too darn early in the morning for a residential neighborhood.

I'm pretty sure we have a noise ordinance from 10 pm to 8 am but the city officials apparantly are exempt. This was the case through most of the summer. I'm obviously not a morning person by nature and so these noises would typically wake me up. Not being a morning person, I also tend to be a little grumpy in the morning--so their schedule and mine were not a good combination.

To top it all off, they're turning the green space across the street into a parking lot. Granted the building that used to be there before they bulldozed them down (that was a pleasant two weeks of 7:15 am noise!) were too delapidated. In fact local hulligans had thrown rocks threw most of the windows. That's not a pleasant site to look at and it certainly doesn't help the look of the neighborhood. However, watching the trees be plowed over and hauled out and watching the green grass get dug up and leveled out made me a bit sad. It made me think of that song Amy Grant used to sing (although I think it was a remake)that had the line "pave paradise to put up a parking lot." Granted, I don't live in paradise, but it still bums me out to lose the green space. And that's my reality for today.

Photo note: This picture was taken in the afternoon. I know that is not a dump truck nor a backhoe--but they were there earlier. This is the only photo I took.