A woman walks into the doctor's office...A tale of Proxemics

I my annual physical today. Luckily it was in the morning, but no matter what time of day it is, I inevitably end up having to wait before getting in to see the doctor. Waiting rooms are so funny. It's the perfect definition of social space and a great example to help clarify proxemics--the study of personal space.

We have 4 bubbles of personal space. Culturally we have ranges but as individuals they're pretty defined. We've probably all had that tingly sense when someone is just a little too close for our comfort. Well that's exactly what the bubbles of personal space are all about--our comfort zones and where we place ourselves in correlation to others in our environment.

First there's intimate space. This is space that goes right from your body generally out to about a foot and a half. In the United States the dominant culture will typically allow only those people with whom you are most intimate with into this space. You don't just allow anyone to get too close. Keep in mind "intimate" does not equate sexual. Intimate means someone who knows you intimately and for whom you have a great deal of care and trust with. For example, you can be intimate with your best friend, but that doesn't mean you're sexually intimate. We also generally allow young children into our intimate space. And sometimes the reverse of that presents problems of comfort. I know of several women who were pregnant and had complete strangers come up and touch their belly without asking or assuming it may make the mother feel uncomfortable. This is because that touch is in that person's intimate space and is reserved for those with whom we are most intimate.

The second bubble of space is called personal space. This sounds funny because the proxemics theory refers to the 4 circles of personal space and then one of the spaces is called personal space--confusing? Well get over it. Personal space in the dominant culture of the US ranges from 1 1/2 feet to 4 feet. This is where you would stop and place yourself distance wise if visiting with a friend in the hallway of school. If someone gets a little too close, we get a fight or flee sensation which usually results in the person who is uncomfortable adjusting to their level of comfort. This can be done with a subtle slight step backwards.

Social space is usually defined in the US (dominant culture again) to be 4 feet to 12 feet and is representative of the distance you would place yourself in certain social situations. In my case in the doctor's waiting room, I sat in the second seat in the first row of chairs. When the next person came, they distanced themselves according to our cultural norms to the chair that was kiddy-corner from me about 7 feet away. Think about how odd you'd feel if someone you didn't know came and took the chair right next to you in the waiting room when there was no one else in any of the other chairs. It would just feel odd, right? That's because of social space.

Public space is when there is more room available, then we expect greater distance especially with those that we don't know. For example, it's a beautiful day out and you decide to go with your significant other to the park for a picnic. You get to the park and the shady spot under the big oak tree is already taken by another couple who have set up a blanket and their own picnic lunch. You're not going to take our your blanket and set it up right next to their's. Nor are you going to simply go 4-12 feet away from them. In fact, you're probably going to move quite a ways away from them to establish your own sense of privacy and comfort. Public space can also be used to describe the distance between a public speaker and his or her audience like at a graduation or sitting in a pew listening to a church sermon. The distance is greater than 12 feet. But in terms of your distance to your family member you may be sitting within personal or intimate space with each other in the pew or bleachers.

These are all culturally defined as well as influenced by individual preferences. I tend to be more touchy-feely which tends to make my ranges a little smaller. Meaning I tend to stand closer to my friends and perhaps even a bit closer to some strangers than other people who may guard themselves more. Those type of individuals may put greater distance between themselves and perhaps even their closest friends. That's why we have ranges for these bubbles. Culturally some countries encourage people to stand closer and other to stand further away. Conflicts can arise if you have two people who have different definitions to how close they are expected to be to each other.

The other area where culture and space come into play is in how we are taught to greet each other. Some cultures shake hands, some give hugs, others kiss. Some cultures have specifications regarding gender (e.g. men and women are not allowed to touch therefore can not shake hands with the opposite sex, while others greet everyone with a kiss regardless of their gender)There's alot to intercultural greetings.

In the future this will be a link to Kari's tale of French greeting rituals:

So be observant of how you use the space around you, how you are affecting the comfort level of those near you, and by all means, if you travel--do your homework about proxemics.