Pseudostuff

I had big plans to get a chunk of work done for my classes today. I wanted to read and prepare a whole new chapter in my Mass Comm book, I wanted to work on some Egypt pictures, and I planned on working on a grant opportunity. But I received a phone call this morning from our real estate agent that someone was interested in looking at our house, TODAY. Yikes! We have a 24-hour request on our listing, but I think that's only been used a couple of times throughout the last 7 months we've been with this company. Also, it has been awhile since our last showing and we actually live in our house, so we haven't kept it up day to day like we did for so long the first time we listed the house. Meaning--it looks lived in. So getting a call like that is always anxiety ridden for me. But at least I was home and knew if I put my nose to the grindstone as they say (what a dumb expression now that I type it), I knew I could get it done. If nothing else, I could pseudoclean.

What? Haven't heard of pseudocleaning? Chances are you've done it. Pseudocleaning is creating a fake or false sense of cleanliness or only cleaning something partway. Now don't get me wrong. I really do clean most of the house, but there's only so much time and there's only so many spots you can put stuff in an old house with no closet space. So I try and sort papers and loose items that have been collecting on the countertops, table tops, and around the computer desk. But at a certain point I know I am running out of time, so I throw them in a laundry basket in order to sort them out later. Then I move the laundry basket to the car--out of sight for the showing! That's pseudocleaning.

How about those bars that Diane just baked last night? Counter looks better if it's clear of clutter, including bars, so in the oven they go--pseudocleaning! That bag of chips that we opened last night and amazingly didn't polish off? In the microwave and off the counter--pseudocleaning! I dust, but I only selectively move items to dust under, the heavier, the higher, the less likely I am to dust under it--pseudocleaning. And come on, how many people totally move all the furniture in order to vacuum the carpet under spots no dust can even get to? That's right, pseudocleaning!

I have to say I have become quite masterful at genuine pseudocleaning. To the outside observer, I give off the appearance that we live a very orderly life. Hah! The houseshowings? That's my motivation for my pseudocleaning but I know others do it for other reasons too. A friend you haven't seen in a long time just calls to say she's driving through town and was checking to see if you're in because she wants to stop and say hi--she'll be there in 10 minutes. MAJOR PSEUDOCLEANING! Difference there? You only need to do the primary rooms. House showing? Gotta do them all. So I stuff slippers under the bed and letters in the junk drawer. Fill the dryer with the holiday sheets I had thrown on the chair and was going to put on the bed after Thanksgiving.

And the last thing I did tonight before leaving the house for my unknown visitors? I turned on our pseudofireplace. It's the first time I've ever done that--think I only did it because it was dark and cold out and I wanted the house to seem warm and inviting. Apparently it was a big hit. Both the realitor and the potential buyer's mother want a copy! So maybe doing something pseudo ain't such a bad idea afterall!